Book List
I'm often recommending books to clients and thought I would compile a list that I have found myself recommending repeatedly.
All About Love by bell hooks
This is a must-read for (everyone in my humble opinion).
"All About Love by bell hooks redefines love as an active verb rather than a passive noun. It outlines a proactive "love ethic" based on care, respect, trust, and commitment. Hooks argues that our society suffers from a lack of love, not just romance, and offers a vision to heal our cultural, community, and personal divides."
Communion by bell hooks
Yes, buckle up for lots of bell hooks. I find myself listening to her work over and over again. Though this book is about women in love, anyone who loves a woman (romantic, familial, or otherwise) would immensely benefit from reading this book.
"Communion: The Female Search for Love by bell hooks is a book that explores how women can find love in a patriarchal world, challenging the idea that a woman's worth is defined by a man's love. "
The Will to Change by bell hooks
Ok ok, final recommendation for everyone to read by bell hooks (though by no means should you stop here). Alternatively, this book about men and masculinity has calls to action for both men and women. This book radically changed my worldview and has taught me to love the men in my life better – friends, family, and romantic partners.
"The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by bell hooks is a book that explores how patriarchy and toxic masculinity harm everyone, including men, and offers a path for men to heal and find love by embracing vulnerability and emotional expression."
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff
"Dr. Kristin Neff’s book, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, offers a step-by-step guide to silencing your inner critic and overcoming the negative impacts of self-judgment. It presents self-compassion as a more stable, effective path to happiness and personal growth than traditional self-esteem."
Trauma Stewardship by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky
Not recommended for everyone, this book was written with clinicians in mind. However, I have found myself recommending it a lot to clients who struggle with emotional boundaries in providing care for others. It's difficult times and between activism and being the shoulder other's cry on, I think some of the skills clinicians use to "not take it home".
It's Not Always Depression by Hilary Jacobs Hendel
You want an instruction manual on how to deal with emotions? Well here you go! This book teaches you about "The Change Triangle" which provides almost a formula for how to get to the root of the problem. "Why is this bothering me so much?" Consult the Change Triangle!
No Bad Parts by Richard C. Schwartz, PhD.
This book is another one written primarily for clinicians. However, Internal Family Systems is the primary modality that I use in treatment and it can be a bit odd when you are used to traditional talk-therapy. Reading this book early on in treatment can help provide a framework and understanding for what we are doing in our sessions. You, by no means, need to read this to receive the full benefit from your sessions. But I work with a lot of "intellectualizers" and have been one myself. I know that understanding can be a key component of "trusting the process". So I suggest this not as a "self help" model but as a tool to help with allowing yourself to be open to the experience of healing and build better trust in the theraputic process.
Anchored by Deb Dana
If you have worked with me for a while you know that I am always talking about the somatic, or body's experiences in the work of healing. If you are a person who likes to understand the "why" this provides great information. It can be dense, so you have to really enjoy that kind of content and honestly, you can also just trust the process. But I know that is easier said than done. Deb Dana's theory has not yet been fully proven, however that has more to do with the research of process and that it takes time and many studies to fully peer review a theory. I have found her guidance on the Vegas Nerve to be extremely accurate in trauma work and provides quick results in healing from PTSD.
Healing Through Words by Rupi Kaur
This is an excellent resource for journaling. The poet, Rupi Kaur, provides beautiful exercises that have helped me personally work through experiences where I am struggling to understand why I am feeling the way I am. My therapist recommended it to me and I've since recommended it to many clients who have expressed that it has been a great resource for them.
Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How it Can Transform Your Life by Dacher Keltner
This is a fun one! What a cool thing that just experiencing awe can heal our brains and be the secret to not being controlled by anxiety. Also, pretty cool that this author was a primary consultant on the Disney-Pixar movie "Inside Out" (If you haven't watched this and the sequel I highly recommend you do!)
"Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life by Dacher Keltner is a book that explores the science of awe, the feeling of encountering vastness that transcends understanding, and how cultivating it can improve well-being."
